intellectualism

this feeling might be exacerbated by "ludus pro patria" playing in my ears but something i've been thinking about is both the existence and subsequent loss of organic thought in people (and myself), something that i'll informally call "intellectualism". i was reading this article about the process of going from 0 to -1 from South Park Commons, and i think it is a great read, one that really captures the current state of my life that i am in right now. essentially me trying to find that next big idea, and also how to go about determining if this is idea is something worth working on for the next xyz years. i think it can seem silly to think about now, especially because well ive never gotten in the position where i ended up committing long term to an idea i realized did not have that long term sort of sustainability. but i think it is something to think about none the less (its like doing lvl 100 mafia boss things as a lvl 1 crook, it doesnt seem like im in the position to think about these things yet). as im reading, i think about how deep and introspective one has to be in order to determine if the idea they are working on is any "good". this is probably just something common amongst young, striver-culture-stricken college student founders like me, but we are always rushing towards the next idea. once i feel like even a hint of arousal at a novel idea, i just cant wait to jump on it and go all out on building. but the process of validating an idea is so much deeper than the small amount of figures that one typically looks at. like, i havent realized simply how much i didnt know as i was trying to find this next idea or chase this next startup, and how much "verification" or exploration one can actually do. its genuinely fascinating how much i can feel like i know versus how much i actually know. theres a whole world of information out there that i am unaware of, and every day that i'm in college im realizing that more and more (not a direct byproduct of college, but a nice side effect). in essence this is to say that creating something genuinely impactful or amazing requires such deep intellectualism, both in the execution and the thesis but also the whole validation process of that creation itself. it seems so productive to simply go out there and blast numbers and buzzwords, but underlying any of this is very deep intellectualism. and its something that i simply lack right now, mostly because again i was excited and "trigger-happy" when it came to building the next thing. in all honesty, 99% of startups ive seen i have no idea if they will succeed or not, nor do i know if their idea is good (this goes for the thought process behind my own startup ideas). because my internal criteria for judging such was so simple and brash, it underscored the actual value that these startups might have. but this brings me to another caveat, too. how do i know if other startups are doing this exact same thing. its become pretty apparent that a lot of modern day startups have been overcome with some sort of striver culture themselves. posting big numbers of valuations / capital raised, descriptions aimed at being absolutely revolutionary and absolutely filled with buzzwords regarding the latest technology. its so hard to see this and wonder if the intention or origins of the startup were rooted in this sense of deep knowledge and intellectualism about the realm they were building into. and maybe this concept of intellectualism looks different. maybe this striver ultra ambitious wording is a manifestation of this exact concept just in an unorthodox form. i have no idea because in my view conveying intellectualism takes the form of deliberate, grounded, and highly knowledge-filled wording. but i really don't know. this concept can apply to so many other things, too (going back to a running example that i've been droning on and on about: clubs and random ahh internships). at what point do people take a step back, and deeply know within themselves why they pursue the things they pursue, and if what they are pursuing is something that aligns with their inner thesis and thus will provide good to their lives in a way that they can articulate. because my observation is that people don't. i feel as if there is an ever decreasing amount of intellectualism and deep self-thought and knowledge within people (including myself). some herd effect just becomes more and more omnipresent, and i can't shake the feeling as if these superficial achievements constitute nothing towards this idea of intellectualism, but also if intellectualism even means anything. i admire how in depth and philosophical south park commons describes this approach, how antithetical it is to everything that i observe around me. it is articulated so beautifully, as if it must be dogma, and yet everything that i seen in my daily life is like against it, so i have no idea if it is right. idk i would really like to believe that intellectualism is essential to the success of anything at scale, and i am obviously not working at that scale yet nor are any of my peers, and so maybe it isn't significant. must we do the non "intellectualism" stuff in order to get to a place where thinking in this manner provides utility? going back to very early in this brain dump, am i too early to be thinking about this stuff? am i wasting my time? i have no idea, and so that is why i am constantly seeking more conviction in my own ideas. admittedly, i am in no place to believe that everthing i believe is correct, that my worldview is one that will yield more in the future (because i have nothing to fallback on rn, so if im wrong about my worldview and it leads me down somewhere wrong brother i am cooooked). all of it is so confusing. but i think thats all the thinking and brain dumping i need to do back to slaving away at math 54 homework for the next couple hours. catch me at moffitt library on weekdays i really like this environment everyone is so locked in and looking around makes me realize where i actually am. everyone here is chasing something different, and i wonder if each person here carries that semblance of intellectualism.